Goodbye 2012

I don't know about anyone else, but I am more than ready to start a brand new year.  2012 has been a very challenging year in so many ways.  I am ready to start anew for 2013.  I don't make resolutions though.  Those are doomed to fail.  I do however have some goals that I would like to achieve.  So, in no particular order, here are my goals for me (and Sophia):

1. Get Sophia to nap by herself- I'm not sure how this is going to happen or how long it will take, but it needs to happen.  If you are a co sleeping mom, I need advice!
2. Take better care of myself- I need to start taking better care of myself physically, emotionally, and mentally.  This includes finding a doctor (even though I have no insurance), and trying to do things for myself.
3. Utilize my "time" better- By time, I mean my 5 minutes here and there I have.  Even if I read a book for 5 minutes, or fold the clothes I never get to fold.
4. Get out!- Get out of the house more with Sophia.  Sometimes it's too hard physically, but when I do feel okay, I need to do things with her. She needs to socialize more with other kids especially.  
5. Fix my back- Obviously a lot of this is out of my hands, but I need to do everything I can to make it happen.
6. Get a job- This is very dependent on #1 and #5 and if someone offers me a job to begin with.

I hope 2013 brings nothing but good things for everyone! Goodbye 2012!

Revelation

While talking to someone today, I had a revelation.  It was so strong it brought tears to my eyes.  About a month ago, I wrote about having an identity crisis.  I realized today that maybe I'm really not. That maybe that person is still somewhere deep inside me and that she's just been buried down deep.  I believe a lot of this has to do with moving away from Vermont.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I have very strong beliefs about almost everything, (food, animals, environment, parenting, etc.).  I realized that those beliefs or ethics or lifestyle, whatever you want to call them are who I am at my core.  When C and I moved to Vermont almost 10 years ago, I think we both felt like we could finally be ourselves.  Almost like we had found a place we were both comfortable to be as we were and there was a community, and people who shared these "beliefs" so to speak.  (I think it's okay to speak for him too- if not C, let me know)  It was an amazing feeling.   Being here in Ohio, I feel like my "beliefs" are constantly challenged.  I am in no way saying that any one is doing or saying something intentionally, it's just very different from how I live and how I want Sophia to grow up.  My goal and hope is to move back there someday.  I wanted Sophia to grow up there and go to school there.  By no means is Vermont perfect, but it was perfect enough for me.  The good news is I never truly lost myself. My challenge now is to somehow live here and not "lose" myself or my beliefs.  I need to find like minded people and do the things that are important to me and that I want to teach Sophia. I need  to do things that are important to me again.  It's not going to be easy, but I'm going to try.  To all of you reading who live in VT, I miss you and we'll be back again someday!

16 months

How is it that my daughter is 16 months old? I blinked my eyes and she's this little girl. A beautiful, silly, stubborn little girl who is way too much liker her Mama. That's all I can say now because it's so hard to believe. I'll just leave you with some pictures...